Dating Insights for Women

Dating Insights

for women

Part 2

For Part 1 click: Here

Be sure and scroll all the way down.

There are LOTS of Tips.

It is important

to know

the key to a man's heart.

The video

I had here was taken down.

I am trying to find an alternative.

A man

is most motivated to get married,

most motivated to bless you

and

most motivated to prepare for marriage with you

when

he wants sex with you for the first time –

not

when he has already has had sex with you.

(That is just normal for a man.)

In fact...

sometimes

a man

will

totally fall out of love

with you,

after premarital sex.

Sometimes he can't help it.

Premarital sex is about lust not about love.

~

So... common sense says "wait"

and

God says "wait"

so...

do what it takes to

"wait for sex until marriage!"

Any man who - isn't willing -  to wait until marriage

for sex with you,

wouldn't be a good husband to you.

The couple below

waited to have sex in marriage:

What do men find

Attractive?

God wants you to have a healthy

Self-Image and Self-Acceptance

which includes godly confidence.

Are you seeking popularity concerning

the opinions of your friends so you can be accepted

and perhaps popular?

Or are you seeking the opinions of God

so you can be pleasing to him?

As Mark Gungor said:

Men

are attracted

to 

confident women.

While you are waiting on Mr. Right

solidify your inner confidence.

Truthful thinking can increase your inner confidence.

Here are some Facts for you to believe:

I am greatly loved by God.

I am a unique and wonderful woman.

I have many talents.

I can like and love myself.

My value is not in my appearance.

God takes care of me and helps me.

I can learn to be assertive when I need to be.

I need to nurture myself and value myself.

I can change my thinking, and I can learn new skills.

I have great strengths.

Distortions in how you see reality

and

false beliefs

lead to

dysfunctional thinking.

If you want to be a Happy Wife:

Be careful who you

Choose to Date and Marry.

What are some traits of a

Godly Man?

Red Flags

Beware of men who justify their mistakes

and

magnify your mistakes.

Beware of a man who always justifies himself

and never apologizes.

Important Tips and Insights

with

Gary Chapman

Christian author of

The Five Love Languages

What does it look like

when a man

loves me

in a healthy way?

Disclaimer:

Take note that
the above speaker does not present Christian values
in many of his videos
so I don't recommend him for other videos.

I just recommend the above video.

Give a man - room - to pursue you.

There are a few - a very few - men who are so shy, the woman has to do some pursuing.

But in most cases, men want to PURSUE the woman.

If you pursue a man,

he may feel flattered and like it for the moment

but at some point

he will feel unsettled

and

he may not even know why.

That is because most men have something

inside them

that wants to pursue a woman

and if

she "short circuits" that -

he will - not - have the same passion toward her

as he would have

if she had given him room to do more of the pursuing.

Lots of women lose their boyfriend

because they were pursuing their boyfriend.

Men often leave a relationship when being pursued.

Do not pursue a single man more than he is pursuing you.

Try to enjoy your private life and let him pursue you

in his timing.

Next,

a worldly man bluntly tells you

not to pursue a man.

And next, he helps you

if

the man re-appears

The man above is not a Christian.

I don't recommend his videos.

I posted this video because

it was the only video I could find that included

certain important points I wanted to share.

Having a godly relationship.

Next:

A Picture of a Couple

Keeping God in their Relationship

Long-Term dating

A note for

ADULT women

who are dating a man

for more than a year.

As a woman who is not having sex with her boyfriend,

your boyfriend should be talking to you

about marriage

before or at least by the

one year mark of dating.

If it is 9 months or a year of being exclusive

with a man

and he is not dying to marry you,

be concerned.

Look over the situation carefully.

Some men just want to date.

They just want someone to casually date.

Some women date a man for years and

cannot get it through

their head

that he doesn't want to get married.

-

You will likely not have a good marriage with a man who never

wanted to be married in the first place, but somehow

you convinced him to get married.

If you want to be married,

you need to date a man who wants to get married.

Watch Your Step

Having a boyfriend is exciting.

While enjoying the excitement,

don't disregard these emotions:

H - Hungry

A - Angry

    L - Lonely

      T - Tired

HALT

When you are feeling one or more of these emotions,

be very careful

in what you say and do with your boyfriend.

Many young relationships are sabotaged

by a woman

who is so excited about an emotional connection

with a man

that when she gets one -

and when she becomes

hungry, angry, lonely, or tired -

she contacts her boyfriend and wants to talk.

Not the best idea!

Let a new relationship go from simmer to hot

without you pushing your boyfriend

to communicate

when you need to take time to work on

your HALT emotions or physical well - being.

If it is early in the relationship and you are not on a date,

consider

not answering the phone or texting with him

until you feel a little better.

Many women shoot themselves in the foot by talking on the

phone or texting their sweetheart when they have

HALT emotions.

~ ~ ~

Obviously that doesn't mean to be out-of-contact for

long periods of time when he is trying to contact you.

Men want a happy, contented woman

for a wife,

not a grouchy, irritable woman.

It's better

to live alone

in the desert

than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.

Proverbs 21:19 NLT

Too much TIME together

Many women wait and wait for a relationship

and

then when they get one,

they do not nurture it in its beginning stages.

In the first six to eight weeks,

that man is deciding

if he is really interested in you.

That is the time to put your best foot forward.

During that time, many modern-day women

don't take the advice

from older women -

which is:

do not spend so much time

on the phone with or texting your boyfriend.

-

You want to be sure that when you are talking on the phone

to your newly-acquired boyfriend

that you get off the phone

before he is overly ready to get off the phone.

In the beginning,

be sure not to exceed an hour on the phone.

For most calls, an hour is a long time.

Hanging on the phone

is the way

a lot of women lose a man.

~

When you do this,

the man associates boredom with you.

You want that man getting off his phone thinking,

"I can hardly wait to talk to her again!"

Instead of,

"Wow, I'm glad I'm finally off the phone with her."

And talk about things that are interesting to him -

not things like your hair, your clothes, your nails,

and your girlfriends.

Learn to FEEL when you are being

too pushy and invasive of

his private time.

If not,

he will feel like you are pursuing him.

Why do men disappear?

The video below has some important points.

I wish I could have found a Christian man

to give those points.

Even though he is not a picture of a man to date,

he does gives

some important universal truths.

The video below has more key points

about why men leave

and again, this man is not a Christian.

In watching the man above,

it is easy to see that he is a worldly man.

He is not a Christian, so he is not the model of who to date.

Nevertheless, he does have some important things to share.

For one thing, he is right that it is important

to be a thankful and grateful person.

I will put it this way:

The more negative you become,

the more dingy your heart becomes.

And we are supposed to

Shine for Christ!

Focus on the positive in life -

Be thankful, grateful, and uplifting.

Meditations of Gratitude

The love of the Lord gives me acceptance.

I feel valuable.

The kindness of the Lord gives me my daily needs.

I feel blessed.

The truth of the Lord gives me warnings about mistakes and hardships.

I feel protected and encouraged.

The mercy of the Lord gives me unmerited assistance and grace.

I feel comforted and forgiven.

The faithfulness of the Lord gives me steadiness.

I feel calm and restful.

The beauty of the Lord gives me uplifted emotions.

I feel refreshed.

The cross of the Lord gives me redemption.

I feel peaceful about my eternal home.

Copyright © 2014 Beth McLendon of Inspirational-prayers.com

Men want you to make them feel capable.

A man wants to be convinced

that you think

he is capable of taking care of himself

and

capable of taking care of a family.

Wisdom says not to be your boyfriend's rescuer.

The kind of Christian man you want to marry

is a man who can take care of himself.

He does not need another mother.

While dating:

Do not try to take care of his problems or fix things in his life.

While dating:

Do not try to be his counselor.

Be his friend  - but not his counselor.

If he asks your opinion,

give him your best wisdom

but do not put yourself in the position to be his counselor.

While dating (and in marriage):

Build your man up

by expressing admiration for the things he does well.

A man wants to be a hero.

I encourage you to:

Be on a mission

of noticing

all

the heroic things about the man you love.

Note that

God has a destiny for all men to become

a Christian hero

and a

Champion for Christ!

When you are married, you and your husband form a team. You are then your husband's helper.

Being a wife means helping your husband and family.

It also means being a good sounding board and giving godly advice to your husband.

But even then, do not make your husband feel that you are being his mother. No man wants to be married to his mother. Make sure you treat a man like a man and not like a little boy.

A good marriage

is one in which the man feels respected.

By the way,

if you have had a lot of bad experiences with men

and you just plain don't like men -

go to God and get healed.

Men can tell when a woman doesn't like men -

and they are repelled by it.

The Mother Trap

Don't fall...

Men who are

Great Husband Material -

do not need or want you

to mother them.

They do not want to be married to a woman who "mothers" them.

The only time most men want a mother figure from their wife is when they are burning up with fever.

So be cautious about "making sure they wear their coat" or "making sure they put on their hat."

Mothers try to give advice or assistance

  in order to rescue

their little boys

from the consequences of actions

they might have otherwise taken.

For example,

Don't suggest that you go drive 50 miles to rescue your boyfriend from a broken - down car unless he asks for your help.

Instead show confidence in him.

As he is telling you how he is going to call a tow truck, show him you have confidence in him.

Instead of a mothering statement - say something like, "I know you will be able to figure out the right thing to do."

Single men want to pilot their own life.

A single man wants to FEEL like

he can figure out how to get out of situations

without your help.

Pushing your help on a man in order to rescue a man will probably lead to him seeing you as a mother figure.

Men want a romantic partner

not a mothering partner.

BUT

most women

think they get points

for being what they would call

helpful -

but men would call overly helpful.

-

Men like to solve their own problems

- especially -

when they are single.

I knew a woman

who was always running to her boyfriend's side

to rescue him all the time.

For example,

he called to say

his car was broken down and he was waiting for a tow truck.

She jumped in the car to go and "help" him.

Another time,

he got to work and called her on break

and mentioned that he had left something at home.

She insisted that she go and get it for him.

I tried to tell her to back off,
but she was so wired to help people that she couldn't resist.

(And no, they did not get married.)

If you run to your boyfriend's side

to rescue him 

from a broken down car or such,

they will not FEEL manly. 

And being overly helpful can make you look needy

and desperate for a boyfriend.

And the few men

who do actually marry a mother type -

well -

don't expect a lot of romance and passion from him.

Why do women date

Bad Boys?

A man once asked me,

"Why do women want to date - bad boys?
I am a nice, kind man
and
women just aren't interested in me."

This section contains my answer to him:

Yes some women are only interested in bad boys.

Those women are not wise,

and you should avoid

seeing them as someone to date.

There are several reasons why some women want to date bad boy.

One of the main reasons is that

it makes some women

feel special, sexy, and excited

when a man treats other people poorly

but

treats her  like she is somebody special.

Women with a low self-concept

get suckered into this kind of relationship.

AND they later experience

a broken heart

when that man gets tired of her

and

starts to treat her like he treats others.

Many women never step back and figure out

why they always date

BAD BOYS.

Reflection for you ladies:

Do you gravitate toward men who are "bad" men?

Some women feel excited being with a man who lives on the edge and who is a little pushy.

Some women feel excited about being with a man who only gives his positive attention to her.

If that is you, then you are in...

DANGER

Dating Bad Boys

Dating Bad Boys

is a trap of 

Satan.

The kind of men you date is the kind of man you will

probably marry.

If you feel excited about being with a man

who only has positive interactions "with you"

and no other people around him

-   wake up!   -

After you are married for a time,

he will treat you like he treats everyone else.

If you date a man who lives on the edge and is pushy toward people, you will probably marry that kind of man.

You will regret it. 

If that is exciting for you during dating, you will find that you are not excited about living with him in marriage.

Your needs will be pushed aside. You will end up feeling unloved, rejected, and lonely.

Draw your heart toward men

who are kind and thoughtful.

Find a man with a tender heart.

That is the kind of man who is real husband material.

Jesus said in Mark chapter 10

that every divorce

is caused by

at least one hard heart.

If you marry a hard heart,

you are already on the path toward divorce.

Grouchy, angry, pushy men make terrible husbands.

How Far is too Far?

Sexually - How Far is too Far?

I decided that in order to honor God,

I couldn't do anything with my boyfriend

that I couldn't do in front of my friends.

Because

when you think about it,

whatever you do with your boyfriend

you are doing

in front of your best friend

- the Lord God -

so let's honor him.

I wouldn't do certain things in front of my girlfriends

so I shouldn't do those things in front of my best friend.

Below I give a link to a woman

who gives a good talk on

Sexual Purity

and what that really means.

https://soundcloud.com/ifyalexis/sexual-purity

Consider Honoring God

during your dates.

Asking a man for Help

Will you?

Would you?

Many men have a negative reaction

when a woman asks their help by saying,

"Can you" or "Could you."

Most men hear a question with

"can" or "could"

as

"Are you capable of doing such and such?"

Men think,

"Of course I am capable of doing that but

maybe I don't want to do that."

However, you are probably just asking the man if he "would" help you.

The best way to ask a man to do something for you is: "Would you do such and such for me?"

or

"Will you do such and such for me?"

When I first heard this, I did not understand.

Until the speaker said,

"What would you think if a man got down on one knee

and said,

'Can you marry me?'"

That made the point very clear to me.

DISC personality styles

I, Beth, not only have a seminary degree

but I am also an expert in DISC personality styles.

I provide DISC relationship coaching for a small fee.

If you are dating someone and

you want to learn

how to create the very best relationship with your

boyfriend,

I am available for relationship coaching.

Click below to learn more about DISC:

DISC Insights